John's Lawn

As a child, I would look out past the shore at the lighthouses off in the distance. Most have been deemed obsolete due to all the progress in technology. Even back then, most of them seemed to exist for the sake of existence. Much like a 40 year old living in their mom’s basement, doing nothing but eating cheetos and playing video games. But for some reason, people love to come and visit them. Coming from someone who grew up on the coast though, I can’t really appreciate the eyesores. Though it may have something to do with me never getting into fishing, it was just never something I liked. Despite my mom’s insistence that I become a fisher, I just couldn’t stand the smell or the waiting. But even still, while there’s so much to loath about the coast, there was something that I found interesting.

See, there’s one lighthouse in particular that I have always found weird. When I was younger, sometimes I would sneak out of the house just to stare at it. For whatever reason looking at that lighthouse way out in the distance. The one sitting atop an almost man-made looking island. It always filled me with a sense of relief and comfort. I would come up with entire stories in my head surrounding it. It was a top secret government cell for a giant alien. Or an alien spacecraft that landed 200 years ago. I was like six or something at the time so the stories mostly dealt with aliens. But every time I would stare out at that lighthouse, I would eventually pass out, falling into a deep sleep with dreams of what stories I had imagined.

For nearly a year straight after I started looking out at the lighthouse, I would tell my mom about these stories I had come up with. Every time, she’d tell me in that condescending parent talk, that I had an impressive imagination, but I really shouldn’t talk about it. She always got nervous and tiptoed around the subject to try and get us talking about something else. Eventually, as I grew up, I stopped bothering with the lighthouse. In all honesty, until about a year ago, it had pretty much fallen into the deepest recesses of my mind. Left to the wear and tear of time to sand it down into nothing more than a memory of dust. As I said, I was never much for fishing, and when I moved out of my mom’s house, I never really got close enough to the ocean to see it. It very well may have never existed as far as my memory was concerned. But a year ago, that all changed.

One thing you guys need to understand is that living just out of arm’s reach of the coast is not the best for finding top tier jobs. I was able to use some of the savings my grandparents left for me just so I could get by. But eventually, pulling “Just 50 more” wasn’t an option, and I couldn’t get a better job. Having grown up practically entirely secluded from most of the world left my social skills with much to be desired. My social life was pretty much nonexistent aside from a few coworkers, so I got desperate. I started checking newspapers to see if I could pick up a second job or something. I had promised myself it was a last resort, and with my savings empty, along with 20 hours a week making minimum wage, I was pretty sure this qualified.

But when I was looking through the newspaper, where I expected to see the same ads I’d seen day in and day out, it had only one. It showcased a black background, with a white lighthouse and in big, bold, italicized comic sans, it read, “HIRING NOW!” with a phone number along the bottom. I decided to call, and after answering some… personal questions, they agreed to interview me. I can’t really go in depth into the interview because it’s all confidential, but needless to say, I got the job.

On the boat ride there, I had some special agent looking guy to explain the jist of everything. He was wearing a black suit with a white undershirt and a black tie, a pistol strapped to his side, black aviators and a black bluetooth in his left ear. He spoke over the sound of the boat in a monotone, accentless voice, “As you should already know, you will be living here until you decide to quit, or something else happens.” There was a clear implication in his voice, “You will have internet access, but certain websites are not accessible. Mostly just social media platforms, along with a few others that you’ll notice as you spend your time here. There is another lighthouse keeper who will show you the ropes. One thing you need to understand though is that this is not a typical light house. There’s a reason why this is seen as a government job.” I wanted to ask questions but his mere presence was just too intimidating, “You will see things while working here that you won’t believe exist if I tell you. That’s why we had to run psyche tests, we needed to ensure you were fit to handle everything you’ll see.” He paused long enough that I figured I could ask a few questions.

“Is that why you asked if I had any living relatives?” I asked, with a hint of concern.

“Yes, anything that may happen to you while you’re here will fall on us. To be blunt, we don’t want any of your family trying to get money out of us if something happens.” He finished.

I took a gulp of the salty air as I remembered what had happened way back when, “Well I guess there isn’t really any turning back now.”

He responded in that monotone voice of his, “No, you aren’t able to put in your two weeks notice for another month. You read and signed all the paperwork, you knew what you were getting yourself into.” I said nothing. Neither of us said anything else for the entire boat ride there.

“Alright, hurry out and don’t forget anything. I will introduce you to the other lighthouse keeper, then I will be on my way.” As we stepped onto the dock, I noticed that while the island did have dirt and grass, it was far too square to be natural. “Follow me.” Said the agent, as he walked off towards the lighthouse. I followed him and eventually we got to the door. He opened the door without knocking and held a hand out, gesturing for me to enter. “Bill? Are you in here.”

A gruff southern voice responded, along with the sound of metal being banged, “For fuck’s sake, didn’t I tell you to knock from now on.” As the sound got louder, I noticed a balding old man wearing a plaid long sleeve shirt and worn jeans coming down the stairs in the center of the room. “Well, I didn’t realize you were bringing me a new one so soon.” Presumably Bill said as he finished walking down the stairs. I now noticed the lump in his lip, as well as his yellow decaying teeth.

“Bill, this is our new hire, his name is uhhh…” The agent had apparently forgotten my name.

“My name is Xavier, Xavier Corton.” They both looked at me as if they both had the same question, “Yeah, that’s my name, go ahead and laugh.” Neither of them did.

“Well Xavier, I’m Bill. Special needs guy, you can go.” He said, spitting into a cup in his right hand.

“It’s special agent.” The well dressed man said, before heading out the door.

“Well kid, you chose a pretty shitty job. But I’m guessing you just wanted the money.” He spit again.

“Yeah, there wasn’t really anywhere else hiring, if it weren’t for this place, I’d be homeless.”

“Welp, guess I oughtta show you around then. Explain the whole jist of everything cause those numb skulls don’t know jack shit.” He spit his chew into the cup, before setting it down on a dresser at the bottom of the stairs, “Down here has the kitchen, lounge, dining room and all that stuff. Now if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where your room is. We walked about halfway up the lighthouse to where there was a small deck like area surrounding the stairway with a railway around it. We stepped onto the deck and he continued, “This is the sleeping area, that bed right there is mine.” He said, gesturing to the one practically right in front of us, “That one over there’s gonna be yours.” He pointed to the one on the opposite side, I had to take a few steps to see it.

“Well that’s convenient.” I thought out loud.

“What is?” He asked.

“Oh… uh nothing? Just nice to see we can’t see each other… sleeping? You know cause it’s just kind of weird and creepy.” I responded, a little nervous.

“Yeah yeah, we’re gonna be sleeping at different times anyway. I’ll be sure not to interrupt your, ahem, alone time.” His face was dead serious. “Anyway kid, up here is the actual light. We don’t actually have to do anything to keep it going. It’s been shining since I started working here, it ain’t never gone out. We mostly keep on lookout up here for the things that go bump in the night.”

“What, like monsters or something?” I asked jokingly.

“Er somethin.” He said, “Yer gonna see some shit kid. Shit you’ll wish you never knew existed, never wanted to know existed. But our job is to capture em. The lighthouse brings those things in, we use the tools we got to put em down below.”

I laughed, “You’re fucking with me right?” His face was stone cold serious, “Y-you’re not joking?” I let out a breath and felt my face drain of color, “So em, w-what kind of stuff are we doing exactly? I mean how do we capture the things if we’re luring them in?”

“Follow me.” Was all he said before walking back down the stairs. I did as he asked and didn’t say anything until we got outside.

“Where are we going?” I asked in a panic.

“I’m showin you where we take the things we get.” I kept following him until we approached a lever. He pulled it and a square chunk of grass moved just fast enough that it moved the grass in a time efficient manner, but not fast enough to fling it off. It revealed a stairway. “Down here is where we take em. Once every couple weeks or so, some guy ports a submarine down here and transfers anything we’ve collected. I’ve taken to calling em shades, but if you come up with your own thing go for it. It’s just a general word for anything that ain’t human.” We reached the bottom of the stairs and all I saw was a long corridor of cells. “Anyway, each one has a hand identifier to open cells, yours should already be in the program so everything should be fine. Just put your hand on the pad and select open or close. Then it’ll say which option you chose and ask if you’re certain and all that. They automatically close after 30 seconds though so don’t go rootin around in the cells. The radio you’re gonna get can’t transmit out of this cell block cause of how thick the walls and everything are. Anyway, we’re done down here, I’ll show you what you’ll be using.” I followed him out, then back into the lighthouse. We approached the dresser he had place the cup on and he opened it, “Technically there’re uniforms, but we don’t actually needa wear em. All you really need are this,” He handed me a bluetooth earbud looking thing which I promptly put in my right ear, “and this.” He handed me what looked like one of those neck snares people use for capturing wild dogs.

“You expect me to capture shades with this?” I asked in bewilderment.

“No dumbass, come upstairs with me and I’ll show you how it’s done.” I was getting tired of all the walking, but still did as he said. He opened up a cabinet once we reached the top of the lighthouse again and pulled out a pistol, then flicked it around, handing it to me.

“I’ve never shot a gun before.” He grunted before just gesturing to it, “Fine, whatever. What’s the point in having these wire things if we’re just gonna kill them.”

“We don’t kill shades kid, we injure them just enough so we can capture them. Understand?” He said with an old man groan.

“So these are like stun guns then?” I asked.

“Sure kid, they’re like stun guns. Keep it on you at all times, just don’t go shootin me with it. There’s a training area out back so you can practice your aim. There’re normal guns down there to prep you for the kick, we only got so much of this special ammo. Aside from that, there’re also some weights so you can work on your build. There ain’t any slackin goin on around here. Shades typically only show up at night, but regardless you need to be alert at all times. Last thing you need to know, food is rationed. One pack per meal, three meals a day.”

“What about bathrooms?” I asked, kind of worried we’d have to use a shit pit out back or something.

“There’s a small side room attached downstairs, it’s got a shower and toilet.” He let out a grunt, “If you think of anything, just ask. Here, curiosity saves the cat, if you don’t know something, never go with your gut.” He started walking downstairs.

“Isn’t there a list of rules or something that I need to follow?” I blurted out.

“All that is on the fridge. I’m gonna be out back.” He finished, ignoring anything else I had to say.

I decided to check the list of rules so I headed downstairs. I expected some sort of top secret list or something, but instead it was hand written in pencil with multiple eraser marks across it. It seemed to mostly just be where names were written. The rules themselves were nothing out of the ordinary, the only things that were weird were that our restroom breaks, shower breaks, sleep schedule and eating times were all to the minute. Three 20 minute meal breaks, five five minute bathroom breaks, one 15 minute bathroom break, a 20 minute shower break, a seven and a half hour sleep break and a single 15 minute break for whatever we may want to do. There were also dates and times for deliveries and other shipments. “This is not what I expected for a rules list.” I thought to myself. Then I noticed something taped to the bottom, “one beep every three seconds, approaching. One beep every two seconds, nearby. A beep every second, on the island.”

“That’s more of what I expected to see.” I accidentally said a little too loud. I paused, when I heard the sound of gunfire I breathed a sigh of relief. I figured I should probably be on lookout so I took to the top of the lighthouse. I still didn’t quite believe everything he said. I mean it’s a government job, sure. There’s also an underground prison. The light did seem to be emanating from some sphere too. But, it could just be that it used to be a secret prison that was turned into a lighthouse. Then an experienced guy decided to play a prank on me and thought I was gullible enough to believe him. Plus the light could just be some new technology I have never heard of. But at the same time, I was given a gun, and there was clearly a training area outside. Despite all these thoughts I figured I might as well just wait and see.

After about an hour passed, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. “Xavier what in the hell are you doin up here?” I heard Bill yell as his footsteps stopped.

“Well I figured since you were training I had to be up here?” My anxiety spiked when I turned in the swivel chair and met his gaze.

“What did I say!” It was more of a statement than a question, “Don’t trust your gut! Always ask me if you aren’t completely certain of something. We don’t watch during the day. We ready ourselves for night! Got it?” I shook my head, standing up immediately, “If anything shows up while it’s light out, the alarms will let us know. Now get your ass downstairs and get to workin out those puny arms of yours!” I rushed downstairs immediately, nearly falling over when I got to the last step. Then I booked it outside to the training area. I’ve never done well with confrontation, and him sounding like some kind of drill sergeant was all the confrontation I needed to get my ass into gear. 

I started with some stretching as I had worked out in the past, back when I was considering joining the military. But I’d fallen soft since it was a few years back. Luckily, there seemed to be most of the equipment I was used to, along with a few machines I’d never seen before. I worked out for hours until I noticed the sun beginning to set, that was when I heard something over the bluetooth that I had forgotten about. “Get ready for bed, I’m taking the first shift. I’ll wake you up when you’re next, or if I need some help.” I guess he had forgotten about it when he was looking for me. It made me wonder how long it’s been since he had someone around. But I didn’t have time to stand around and think, shower time was just before sleep so I had to get going.

As I walked into the bathroom, there was a set of stuff for me sitting on the sink, toothbrush, body wash, shampoo and the like. Afterwards I went to bed and fell asleep in minutes. I don’t think I had any dreams while I slept, all I remember is waking up to Bill’s wrinkly face shouting at me to, “GET UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” He was always so aggressive, and I presume it was because of how long he’s been doing this job.

“I’m up… fuck…” I was groggy, but had gotten better sleep than I was used to, “Why don’t we have alarms or something?” After a few seconds, I realized there was a slight buzzing sound in my right ear.

“You’ll get used to the sound soon enough kid. NOW GET YOUR ASS UP STAIRS!” That shout got me up, I definitely wasn’t gonna need anything energizing to keep me awake. Just the thought of him screaming gave me enough anxiety to keep me up for hours. He walked to his side of the room and I rubbed my sore body while getting dressed. Shortly after, I stumbled upstairs. Sitting in the swivel chair, I realized I probably overdid it with the workout, and secretly hoped it would be a quiet night.

There were a bunch of buttons and dials in the main viewing area, all clearly labelled with single words. There was also a binder I hadn’t noticed my last couple times up there that I decided to flip through. It mostly explained what each label meant, even the obvious ones like “OFF” and “ON.” Though there were some that weren’t so obvious like the, “CLASS” dial, which showed the numbers one through twenty around it. Basically, it was a special dial for how strong the lighthouse’s light was. The stronger the light, the more powerful of shades it attracted. It was only set to five, so I figured I should leave it as is. If Bill left it at that level, there was definitely a reason for it. Even if I doubted it could actually attract the things that go bump in the night, I wasn’t going to tempt fate anymore than I had to.

One of the buttons seemed self explanatory, but the binder went way more in depth than I expected. Essentially, it was in case the lighthouse was being swarmed by shades. It had numbers of shades it must be used for for each class. Anymore than 30 class 1’s, 20 class 2’s, 15 class 3’s so on and so forth. It was disconcerting to say the least that if there were less than 30 class one’s, we were expected to take them all down on our own. The terrifying part  was that if there were more than one class 10 or higher, we were expected to use the emergency button. I had no clue why it would go up to 20 if that was the case, but I’m sure there had to be a reason for it.

As I flipped through the binder, I started getting thirsty. I saw a cup sitting next to a button that said, “YELLOW” and figured Bill wouldn’t mind me taking a bit of his water while he was asleep. So, while I was flipping through the binder, trying to find what “YELLOW” meant, I took a sip. The taste that hit my mouth was unlike anything I had tasted before. Like shit dipped in vomit, along with all the cleaning chemicals you’d find in the average home. I gagged immediately and looked down to see an orangish black substance. Holding back my vomit in realization of what I just sipped, I looked around for some water. Spitting relentlessly to get the taste out of my mouth, I noticed a sleek, metal water dispenser perched about ten feet away at the edge of the control panel. I fumbled to get a cup, then began hearing a beeping in my right ear. I counted how long it was between beeps and thankfully, it was every few seconds. I grabbed some water and another cup, rinsing my mouth out and spitting into the empty cup. Then I chugged the rest and threw both cups away before sitting down to look.

At first, I didn’t see anything. I turned a complete 360 in my chair multiple time but still didn’t see anything. The beeping started coming every two seconds and I decided I should probably check the ground. So I got up, legs still sore, and looked around at the island below. What I saw, looked like some kind of zombie, crawling up the side of the island. I rushed downstairs to get a better look, pulling my gun from its holster. I ran outside to check it out, the beeping now just a consonant, “BEEP BEEP BEEP.” rattling my one ear drum. I came to it and saw what it was. A jawless rotting corpse, with the only thing covering it up being a few strands of seaweed. I took aim for center mass, hoping my years of gaming wouldn’t fail me, and fired. The kick was more than I was expecting, and I realized then that I definitely pushed myself too hard while working out. The gun flew back into my nose still in my hands. This pale motherfucker covered in sores had the audacity to start wheeze laughing at me. With my probably broken nose, I took aim again and fired, holding the gun much tighter this time. It looked stunned as the bullet collided with its stomach, I reached for the neck snare, only to realize I had forgotten to grab it when I woke up. 

I ran into the lighthouse up to my bed, grabbed it, ran back downstairs to find… nothing waiting for me. The beeping was still going that the same tempo, once every second like a metronome. I walked around trying to find it. Then I stopped when I heard the labored breathing along with the sound of footsteps. I crouch walked around the lighthouse until I saw it. My heart was pounding, I felt it thumping from my toes to my head. I had to keep both hands on my gun to keep them somewhat steady. “This is actually happening.” I thought, “No shits and giggles, this is an actual thing that’s happening.” I saw it as I rounded the turn and shot before it could see me. The thing looked stunned again so I hurried to grab it by the neck. As I tightened the wire, it seemed to shoot electricity through it, nearly completely immobilizing the creature.

“Yeah, you’re mine now bitch.” I said through my shaky voice. It only let out a pained groan in response. I dragged the thing down to prison, taking him to the third cell on my right. They had all been empty before, but there were already five other creatures down there. This zombie thing made six, and after locking it in a cell, I walked back up the stairs and the beeping finally ceased. I made my way back up the lighthouse slowly. My hands and legs were shaking so bad I didn’t think I could make it all the way up, but after a few stumbles, I did it. I sat down in the chair and had a miniature panic attack. I rolled over to the trash can by the water and threw up anything left in my stomach. That night, nothing else showed up, which was good for me, cause I didn’t know if I could handle anymore weird shit that night.

When he woke up, Bill was only mildly pissed to find that I had used three rounds for a simple class two. But he was somewhat understanding at the same time, apparently he had lost a new guy on the first night a few months back to a class one. All in all, it was a pretty chaotic first night, but I had a feeling, things were gonna get a lot worse.