John's Lawn

It’d been a late night at work. My feet dragged under me as I made my way to the subway station. I wondered to myself if all the late shifts were worth the paycheck. The pay was alright, and I never had to budget, but the back pain was catching up to me. 

I oughtta pick up some more Excedrin on my way home. I thought, forcing my feet down the stairs. What am I even doing anymore? What happened to that childlike wonder I used to have? Wasn’t I gonna go somewhere with my life? 

I glanced at my phone, 11:13. I sighed, Guess reality beat me into submission at some point along the way. What did I want to do?

Scanning my card, I made my way through the turnstiles, to where the subway would meet me. 

How did I forget what I wanted to do? Did I get too caught up in my work life? I had passion… ambition; that’s why I started working here. I wanted to make enough money to do… something. Didn’t I?

Sitting down on a bench, I took a deep breath, pulling out my phone to check for any notifications. Two awaited me, both being random Facebook notifications from a group I’m in. As I opened Facebook, a rumbling from the left side of the station introduced itself. Checking the time showed 11:16. 

Guess they’re early. I thought, putting my phone back in my pocket.

A gust of wind fluttered my clothes, raising goosebumps as the train slowed to a halt. It took longer than usual to stop. But eventually, with one cart left in the station, I made my way to the train.

The door opened as I approached, and as I got on, I glanced around. There were a few other people in there, all looking just to the side of me. As if they were trying to avoid eye contact. “Guess the conductor’s having an off day huh?” I chuckled, not receiving any response. A few seconds passed in awkward silence as I made my way to an empty seat. I took a few more looks around, but everyone seemed to be doing their own thing, waiting their turns to leave.

Another stop came, and an older bald man with a fedora got on, sitting next to me. A couple more stops came and went, the cart filling exponentially like everyone forgot it was midnight and decided to go for a train ride. At the next stop, the old man turned to me. I glanced over at him, noticing he was wearing a well-fitted charcoal suit. “Can I help you?” I asked politely.

The man spoke, looking just to the right of me, “I’m not sure you’re on the right train.”

I got a little nervous, wondering if I’d gone to the wrong side of the station somehow, “Is this one not going south?”

“No, it is.” He chuckled, “You just hopped on a little early, didn’t you? The trains are never late here, y’know.”

I let out a short snort, relaxing in my seat, “Okay buddy.” I turned back to my phone, waiting for my stop to come. Then waited.

Time kept on passing, but no more stops came. Before I could get up to call for the next stop, my eyes weighed me down. As if I’d been hotshotted with 50 CCs of melatonin I blinked but my eyes never opened.

——————————————–

The sun stung eyes as I woke. Nothing felt real, standing up was a chore, I was shaky. Trying to focus my eyes, they sent out an error code, politely informing me they would focus on whatever they wanted. I made my way to the door, lightheaded I wondered if I caught something.

Stumbling out the door, I was greeted with an above-ground station mid-day. There were a lot of people getting off, but no one getting on. My mind was so foggy I couldn’t tell where I was, but something wasn’t right. Subways didn’t go above ground, did they?

Stumbling down the platform, the extent of my disorientation unknown to me until I tripped over myself, collapsing to the ground. I felt nothing as I staggered back to my feet. 

Careening my way to the sidewalk, a couple people asked me if I was feeling alright. Unable to speak, I passed them by. Energy was to precious to come by, so I forced all my effort into focusing on a street sign. “Calden Ave.” Where’s that supposed to be? I pulled out my phone, putting my hand over my eyes to block out the unrelenting blaze above.

8:17, I tried to do the math in my head to figure out how long I’d been out, but it was too much for my fogged mind. The world was a haze, “What’s going on with me?” I thought, checking to see how many bars I had. Though it was hard to tell from the blur, there was definitely an “x” over the service bars.

I let out a shallow moan, putting away my phone. A few people looked in my direction, but quickly went back to themselves.

After 30 or so minutes of waiting for a taxi, I decided stumbling my way to the nearest hospital would be my best shot. Time marched along, every ten minutes the buildings seemed to repeat themselves. My head fog improved as the buildings encompassing me encroached and smeared into one another.

After a couple hours passed darkness settled, setting down for an afternoon nap. Am I hallucinating? It seemed real enough, so I kept walking, trying to see if there was anywhere I could stay while I waited for a hospital to arise. Eventually, I came across an empty parking lot with a large sign. I looked up hazily, “Hotel Grande.” 

Glancing around, there were no other buildings nearby, I was in the middle of a forest. Too exhausted to find my way back to the city, I headed for the entrance. Opening the door, I found a middle aged man reading a newspaper sitting at a desk. Dragging my feet to him, I found I couldn’t read what was on the paper, like it was another language. Focusing on the page, I could tell it was English, but it was like my brain couldn’t piece the letters together.

“Can I help you?”

“S-sorry, I’d like a room.”

The man glanced up, not putting his newspaper down, “Another one of you huh? Room 215 is open.” He went back to reading.

“How much?”

“What?”

“I’m asking how much for the room.” My tone was harsher than I meant, but his reaction was cool.

“Look kid, it’s open. No charge, no key. Just go to room 215, go to sleep, and everything will be fine. Disturb me again, and I’ll throw your scrawny ass out.” 

Accepting his response, I shrugged the charity off, giving him a gentle, “Thank you,” before stumbling up the stairs to the room. When I got there, the absence of smell struck me. As if the air and carpet were their own entity outside spacetime. Not even a hint of cigarette intruded, despite the room’s shabby appearance.

Exhaustion overwhelmed me as I approached the bed. Collapsing onto it, I didn’t even have time to pull a blanket over me before everything went dark. I didn’t dream, but when I woke up, I didn’t feel much different, I was a little less exhausted, but the fever persisted.

Heading downstairs, I walked out the door. I thought I heard the man mumble something, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. As my steps carried me one foot at a time, I felt I was on roller skates, flowing forward rather than stepping. The only thing tethering me to reality was the motion under me, whenever I stopped, my surroundings would dim and I’d become faint. The blurs that passed me by left me with mere impressions of what they could be, all my focus was required to move forward.

Eventually, I found a small footbridge, looking down, I saw a narrow creek underneath. As the darkness encroached, I stepped onto the bridge. Making it to the other side, I found a void-black horse standing a little ways away, staring at me. My slipping existence forced me toward the horse. Reaching out a hand, it tilted its head back, avoiding my touch.

“What are you doing here?” A voice enveloped the trees, rattling the grains of dust below me.

I jumped back, tripping over my numb legs. Nervous, I glanced around, looking for what caused the sound as I stood again. Despite my efforts, there was no one in sight but the horse, so once again, I approached.

“You slipped out of your reality yester-when, you must find yourself again.”

I took a couple steps back, heart hitting my chest, “W-what?”

The horse looked me directly in the eyes, opened its mouth, and opened again, splitting straight down the middle to form 4 separate appendages. Each part of the mouth curled outward, revealing the jagged teeth lining every inch of its gums.

“Just as you have come, you should return to where you’re from.” The creature then turned, walking away.

Facing the bridge, I floated back toward the hotel. Everything was more distorted than before. However, with time, I eventually found myself running into people again. Their faces were wrong, none of them looking quite real. Larger than average eyes, displaced noses, and some had no mouths.

Eventually, I found my subconscious leading me somewhere, I couldn’t derail myself from wherever I was going. Time passed, and I found myself in front of a familiar home. Checking the door, it was unlocked.

Entering, I heard people talking. Their words were indiscernible, but I was sure there were people somewhere. Heading to the out-of-focus kitchen, the muffled voices seemed to get louder, yet lower. Walking around each room I could, I found a staircase through a doorway in the corner of the living room.

Their voices cleared with each step down, but all I could hear was gibberish. Not quite like they were speaking another language per se, more like I was no longer capable of understanding English. I knew their words should’ve been making sense, but it was like my brain couldn’t connect each word to the other.

As I took each step down the winding stairs, my brain fog slammed into me again, dragging me down. I was in a haze, hardly able to process the limited visual information around me. “Is there even a light here?” I looked up as my feet glided down the winding steps, but there were no bulbs. It was light, sure, but it was as if the air itself radiated it.

Finally, I reached the final step, and the voices stopped. I looked ahead making out four figures, aside from some vague details, they appeared to be mere silhouettes. Two of them were looking to my left, one to my right, and the last just above my head.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt…” My body nearly gave out from under me, I’d lost all sensation, and my voice came out as a rattle. I couldn’t feel the feet in my shoes, the shirt I was wearing, nor the belt around my waist. All that existed in that moment was my dwindling consciousness. “I-I don’t mean to interrupt… but do I know you?”

The one looking to my right asked something, though I couldn’t make out any words. A few moments passed and a stern statement came from the one looking above me. When the two looking to my left said something, they all repeated the same sound. I knew I recognized them, but it was like they were chanting for me to leave. When one took a step toward me I booked it up the stairs. Once I made it out of the house, I collapsed to the ground, deep panting until the smallest amount of focus returned to me. I was finally able to feel the shoes on my feet again.

As I rose, a shrieking stabbed my eardrums. I held my hands over my ears before suddenly understanding what it said.

I bolted, tripping as I regained sensation in my legs. I had to run full speed, there was no avoiding it. As I pumped my arms, my muscles recognized themselves, and my body realized their weight. The head fog receding, I slipped turning a corner, scraping my right side, but there was no feeling. I shot back up, refusing to fade, there was no way I would let that vision, or afterlife or whatever the hell it was, beat me. I refused to let myself go.

I finally made it right as one last ungodly shriek sounded through the train station. I paused for a moment, reorienting my field of vision. Staring at the train, the door on the last cart was already closing.

I screamed for it to wait as I picked up speed again. But the train wasn’t stopping. I ran full speed slipping my fingers into the door, but I couldn’t pry it open, and no one was on the train to help me. 

The train started along, and I couldn’t do anything. I tried pulling my fingers out, but that was just as ineffective as prying the thing open. “Hey! Help, SOMEONE HELP! IT ISN’T STOPPING! I-I’M STUCK!” No one would even look in my direction, they all just continued with what they were doing as the train picked up more and more speed.

Eventually, I collapsed, my fingers sliding down but still holding me in place as the concrete skinned me alive. I screamed and shrieked for anyone to save me, but just like before, it was useless. There was no point, but the horror of what would happen to me… what was actively happening… it was too much. As the train reached the threshold of the first tunnel, everything went dark.

———————

When I regained consciousness, I was on the train. I looked around, the blue tint that had enveloped everything before was gone. I hadn’t even noticed it until it was gone. Patting myself down, I felt for anything out of the ordinary. My vision was back to normal, my head fog was gone, I didn’t have any scrapes. I let out a sigh of relief.

The train picked up speed again and I decided to check my phone to see how much longer I had to get to my stop. But a cold sweat overtook me. 

11:30 

I checked to make sure, but the date was the same. How could it only have been 14 minutes? How am I on the train? What the hell is going on?

And as all those questions whirlpooled within me, a long forgotten memory surfaced as I remembered who those people in the house were. They were the childhood friends I used to hang out with. A tear streaked down my face, signaling the initial cracks of a dam.

The ones I’d planned a future with, the people I promised I’d be friends with forever, the ones who went missing when I was twelve. I’d made a promise as I cried over their disappearances back then. Now that I remember it, I intend to keep it.

I’m posting this here, not for you all, but for my family. So if I never make it back, they at least have a way of finding out why. We’re not on speaking terms, but if any of them happen to be reading this, I’m going to go find Emma, Konnor, Olive, and Tyler. I know what I experienced was real, there’s just no way a dream like that can fit into 14 minutes. I don’t know what I experienced, but I think it was a sign, a sign that they’re still out there. And I can’t stand keeping at this dead-end life without them.

This is Henry Yaeler, signing off.