John's Lawn

“So uhh… is this even street legal?” I asked Chad as we merged onto the freeway, “I’m only asking because I don’t think it’s supposed to take up a lane and a half.”

“Don’t worry bro, as long as the police don’t see, we’ll be gucci.”

“Whatever,” I wanted to say more, but I hadn’t been able to escape thought bombardment lately. It was like my intrusive inner monologue going on about what was happening and what could happen. It terrified me to my core and I didn’t know how to stop it. Like having three different voices going over different scenarios in my head all at the same time. I just didn’t really feel like talking.

“Listen, I know I may not seem great with like, emotions? And stuff, but bro, everything will work out in the end okay? Look at it this way, if we survive, then we did it and everything is gonna be fine. If we all die an agonizing death, well, we won’t have to deal with any of this stuff anymore. One way or another, we’ll all put an end to this.” It was strange hearing Chad give legitimate emotional support, and surprisingly, it was working.

“I know we didn’t exactly get off on the right foot Chad; and we’ve had our fair share of disagreements. But thanks, you’re right.”

He frowned, “I bet it’s rough, being a human in a world designed for higher powers. I get it bro, nothing I’m gonna say is gonna help you fully. You’re an ant in a world of anteaters right now dude, but the fact is, you aren’t standing down. I guarantee if pretty much any entity or human were in your shoes right now, they wouldn’t even put them on. They wouldn’t be here dude, maybe it makes you stupid, or maybe it makes you brave. Maybe it’s a middle ground, who knows? But I’ll tell you something, if I were human, I wouldn’t be in this car right now, I would be at home just chillin. I would just be waiting for everything to blow over. You aren’t like that Joe bro, you got an iron will, and that right there is why I know you’ll survive.”

“You know what, it makes me really happy to hear you think so highly of me Chad—”

“Don’t confuse facts with admiration Joe.” He paused, “I didn’t mean it like—”

“I got what you were saying. While you are proud of me for making it this far, you also see me as a complete and utter buffoon, I get it.”

He gave me a weird look, “Yeah, I guess…”

I paused for a moment, thinking about how to articulate what I was thinking, “You must be pretty terrified right now yourself huh? Not to be insensitive or anything, but I saw you get bitten in half after doing nothing to that giant dildo. Then just a little bit after, Abraham killed it with no troubles. That must’ve made you realize how small you are too?”

He responded with sincerity, “Well, I faced my own shortcomings a while back. I wasn’t joking when I said I like to stick with Rachel. She’s saved my life more times than I can count.”

“What like six?” I immediately reconsidered what I was saying, “Sorry, I don’t really know how to deal with anxiety any other way… continue.”

“It’s all good bro, I get it.” He was surprisingly relaxed, “But what I was saying was, when you’ve been face to face with your own mortality as many times as I have, it becomes something you expect. Like respawning in a video game dude, you begin to think that every time you’ll come back. But eventually, that life counter runs out, or the game crashes. You don’t even realize it though. It’s gonna happen to me eventually bro, and I’m gonna be honest, I don’t, like, fear it anymore. It’s kinda the reason I decided I’d help Terry no matter what he said. If I don’t come back this time, oh well. I’ve had way more time on this shitty rock than I deserve, so when that death finally comes, I’ll embrace it bro. But you, that’s not how you look at it, is it?”

“Can’t say it is big guy. I mean I guess in a way it is, my wife died for fucks sake, I had no friends because some thought I’d murdered her, the rest didn’t want to be associated with someone getting called a murderer. My family never responds to me or anything. I legitimately had nothing after Jane died, aside from a shitty office job, a shitty apartment and a shitty therapist.” Tears slowly began trickling down my face, “Back when it happened I wouldn’t have given a shit if I died. Hell I would’ve embraced it. Even back when I found out it was Jeff, I was willing to try to kill him. Not because I thought I could win, but because I knew he would kill me if I tried anything. But now, he’s died so we can live, my wife’s murderer gave his life to protect those he cared about. I’m holding up my end of that unspoken bargain. All of you are the reason why I’m a little less dead inside, and why I actually had something to look forward to in the morning. This amazing world I used to think could only exist in books and movies. I’m not gonna let you all die, not alone at least.”

“Shit bro.” Chad responded, “I didn’t really expect that. Don’t worry though my guy, we’re all gonna make it out of this alive. Remember, we got Doc and Rache. We’ll put the fuckers in the hole they deserve.”

I didn’t respond, choosing to nod and look out at the green smudges on the side of the freeway. I wondered how everyone was holding up, we still had another hour before we got there. Considering Terry said the USPM members were coming with, they must’ve had some high speed… something to get them there as fast as possible. As we passed the taped off bunker, another thought occurred to me. Why was all of this happening in my state of all the places in the world? Does it happen everywhere and I just happen to be the only one writing about it? I mean, sure we have bigfoot sightings and stuff but what makes this state in particular so paranormal? I guess I’m just the only one writing about it out of fear or something. I guess since I have so many powerful entities as friends and acquaintances I’m just sort of immune to the government taking me away. They do like to keep their fair share of secrets with all these secret organizations. USPM, PFBI, what else is there? I mean, it’s gotta be more than just that right? What else, PNSF? Alien NASA? My mind eventually wandered to the inevitable.

“So how do you think they’re doing up there? Think any of them might be dead? Or is it like the bunker, and they are just getting started.” I asked hesitantly.

“Not sure bro, all we can do until we get there is hope everything is goin’ alright. Keep your mind on the positive, otherwise when we get there, you might not be ready for what you see.” It seemed like backwards thinking but I gave it a shot.

They’re all pretty strong, even the USPM guys. It seems like they should be able to handle just about anything that comes at them. Then again, if they have anyone comparable to threat level 20’s they could be in deep shit.

“How’d you meet them anyway? I feel like even though I’ve known all of you for a while, I don’t actually know you. How you all met, your history, all that.”

“Well dude, the reason why is cause it isn’t all that and a bag of chips. Honestly, for the most part it’s kind of boring. Rachel and I met about 20 years ago or so, back then I was still mostly human.” He stated nonchalantly.

“Uh, mostly?”

“I don’t think we got time to open that can of worms right now bro. But back when I was still mostly human, I was in the army, just the normal one if you’re confused at all. Well actually, I was part of a small group of experimental soldiers so I guess it wasn’t exactly the normal Army. What happened was, I was just kinda out and about walkin’ around this base down in South Africa, some really low key stuff. Lookin for some sort of mineral or somethin I think. It was something about there being like, an old meteor that crashed there I think. Anyway, I was walking around this base, having absolutely nothing to do, when I saw this woman off in the distance. Just sort of slowly walking over. Now this entire area had been like, closed off and shit. But she was on the inside which was really weird, cause the barricades were like, really high up. So I ran over to the nearest high ranked official and stuff and told him, ‘There’s this girl inside the barricade.’ and he was like, ‘That’s preposterous, there’s no way someone could get through it.’ Then I was like, ‘No there’s definitely someone inside.’ I was more articulate back then. Anyway, this guy calls it in when he sees her. But by now she was waaay closer and I heard him whisper into his radio something like skin wearer or something. Next thing I knew, every soldier was at the ready, aiming their guns at her and shit. So he yells for her to ‘Turn back and run.’ But she didn’t listen, it was crazy but also kinda hot. Anyway, so this girl ends up throwing round all this crazy shit and I end up being the only one left standing. She gave me a once over and said, ‘Stand up before I kill you.’ By now I had a hard on out to-”

Before he could gesture I cut him off, “NOPE skip this bit, just get to it already!”

“Geeze, buzzkill. Basically, she wanted me to show her the spot where we were trying to find this mineral. So I take her there and everything and she just pours some liquid on the ground and it immediately starts melting, until it gets like, really far down. Then she drops a rope down, asking me to hold it. So I do cause of the whole,” I glared at him, “So I did, anyway she came back up a bit later and said she got what she came for. Gave me another once over and asked, ‘You aren’t normal are you?’ so I said, ‘Define normal.’ Then she let out a sigh and asked me to come with her. That’s basically how I met Rachel. The government thinks I’m dead though so it’s all good.”

“I gotta be honest Chad. You are a terrible story teller.” I said exasperated.

“Oh like you’re one to talk.” He retorted.

We drove for another 20 minutes or so before Chad said anything else. “We’re almost there bro, get your gameface on.”

I checked the mag in my future pistol, the sheath on my hip and made sure I was actually wearing the vest. “Yeah, I’m good to go.” I set the gun down immediately realizing something, “Shit shit shit, where is it?” I patted myself down, then checked the mag in my pistol, “So uh… I got some good news and bad news Chad.” I turned to him, and he did a “go on” gesture, “The bad news is I only have 13 rounds, the good news is these are the hollow point rounds.”

“Well, no turning back now.”

“Why?” I asked with a facetious undertone.

“Cause uhhh… we’re here bro.” I only then realized were already stopped.

“Guess I was too busy panicking to realize, you ready?” He nodded, getting out of the vehicle and going around the back. I looked around as I slowly got out of the tank of a humvee, triple checking I had everything. “Yeah, this definitely looks like the right place.” I said gazing vacantly at the massacre before me. I almost forgot how fussy the brain gets about seeing dead bodies. There were maybe 30 of them laying just outside of the house. Some were torn to such small pieces they looked like bloody sand. Others with holes large and small throughout their bodies. A few I recognized as Jacob’s innards to outtards ability. “I’m gonna be honest, I figured the place was gonna be bigger, but this is either the biggest house I’ve seen or the smallest mansion.” I joked, trying to hold back the urge to vomit from the sight and smell.

“I don’t see anyone we know out here, let’s head in.” Chad said, wearing what looked like some sort of leather armor. He noticed me looking up and down trying to figure out if it was from a cow, or something else, “Genoskwa leather, it’s not like, great against bullets and stuff, but it’s a good buffer.” As we reached the door, he kicked it down without hesitation.

All the lights were on, and yet the place was as dark as the night sky on a new moon. The only things I could see were dead bodies scattered everywhere, with bodily fluids streaking the floor, reminiscent of oil in a puddle of water.

I heard a cough and looked around, “Joseph… why are you here” There was an unmistakable Icelandic accent.

“David?” I asked, looking around the area his voice came from.

“Bingo.” He let out another cough, “Fokking fokk, I don’t have time to ask you all this shit. They’re upstairs, some of the fávitar are strong as hell. So, just make sure and stand behind the meathead.”

“Why didn’t the Doc patch you up?” I asked, hesitating.

“He had *cough* more pressing matters to tend to. Not to mention… Well I guess you couldn’t see the gesture.”

A little confused, I rifled through my bag, “Here take these, it’s one of his steroids.” I handed him a small plastic bottle. “Alright Chad let’s go.” Only then remembering I couldn’t see where anything really was. “Hey, can you uh… Can you see where the stairs are?”

“Just over this way, it’s hard to see them. Just follow behind me bro.” I did as he asked, rippling multiple pools of blood in the process. It didn’t take long before I noticed some blood coming down at an angle.

As we made our way up the stairs, I suddenly remembered I had a sense of smell as I began ferociously gagging. Halfway up the stairs, I managed to spray out, “How can you stand this. I get you have experience and all but this is rancid. I feel like I’m breathing in a dumpster fire of gasoline, shit and cat piss, while using it to cook a stir fry of skunk vomit and seaweed noodles.”

“That’s pretty specific bro.” Was all Chad responded with.

“Well it’s the only way I can properly convey just how bad it smells. The stir fry might also have a splash of puss too.” With no response, we reached the top in silence, thankfully the walls and floor were actually visible now, “Psst, Chad.” I said in a hushed tone, “Don’t you think it should be louder?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, his unwavering machoness radiating off him.

“Dude, quiet down. Just think about it, there’s a paranormal showdown going on right now, and all we could hear were the sounds of our footsteps. Right now even, just listen.”

There was a short pause, until I finally saw a look of understanding come over his face, “Shit bro you’re right.” Still talking like normal, “Maybe we should, like, stealthily sneak our way down the hall.” 

I sighed and nodded before mumbling, “We’re fucked.”

As we traversed the hall, I began to realize something Chad, unsurprisingly, hadn’t. The halls had been slowly but surely getting more narrow. Turning around, I saw that we had barely even walked five feet from the staircase. “Hey Chad, can you turn around real quick. I don’t think hallways are supposed to do this.” I waited for a response, but when I didn’t get one, I turned back around. He was gone, and the hallway was even more narrow than before. “Is this another illusion or something? I’m done with all this, ‘You can’t see me if I can’t see you’ bullshit. It’s pretty one sided.” I began pulling out the ninjato, knowing that if they were close I wouldn’t be able to land a shot. “Seriously, I’m just some guy. If you want to kill me, what’s the point in all this?” When I got no response, I decided the best course of action would be to continue down the hall. The walls finally stopped getting closer when they were nearly touching my shoulders. The slightest angle in my walking would cause me to touch them. It was strange, the walls were warm, as if they themselves were heating the house, rather than a ventilation system. As I tried to turn around, the walls grew closer, so I decided I would just stick with keeping my eyes forward.

After 30 minutes or so I finally screamed, “WHAT DO YOU EVEN GET OUT OF THIS?! WHAT’S THE POINT OF WASTING YOUR POWERS ON FUCKING WITH SOME HUMAN?!” As expected though, there was no response. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort and turned around. Seeing the staircase only about 15 feet behind me, I began to feel the walls crush me, “So this is how I go? Getting crushed in a dump that smells worse than a skunks asshole. WELL IF IT’S MY TIME I’M GOING OUT SCREAMING BITCHES!” Just as I finished, I felt myself being shaken, my eyes jolting open in response.

“Dude, what happened to you? You kinda just like, passed out a couple minutes ago. I’ve been trying to wake you up. Did you like, not sleep last night or something?” The behemoth hardly seemed concerned.

“And I am actually awake this time? I feel like this has happened before.” I took a deep breath through my nose, held it for a few seconds, then blew out, “I think we’re good. Let’s just head down the hall and get ready for this shitshow.”

“Agreed, I think that’s gonna be the best option bro.” He was surprisingly willing to actually listen to me. Maybe I’m just used to everyone constantly talking down to me. Guess I’m not quite as used to all this as I thought. 

As we headed through the hall, I finally began to hear some sounds, though, not what I was expecting to hear. It was agonized moaning, someone in incomprehensible pain. “Look, I know we shouldn’t check it out, but it might actually be one of our guys.”

“Yeah, you might be right. It sounds familiar. I think it’s just down this way.” Chad responded, with some recognition in his voice.

We began running until I heard where the screams of agony were coming from. I stopped at a door on my left, but Chad kept running, “Hey! It’s coming from this one!” 

He stopped almost immediately. Turning around, he almost looked concerned, “So… you mean to tell me it’s coming from that door for you?” He sounded scared.

“Yeah? What do you mean ‘for me?” Did he figure something out before me?

“Bro, I’m hearing it from down the hall more. I think they’re trying to separate us. I mean like, I don’t hear anything coming from that door.” He sounded like he was about to piss himself. Which nearly caused a drop or two to come out of me.

“So you mean… is it some type of auditory illusion or something?” I asked. He only responded with a nod, “In that case, we can’t have them sneaking up behind us, so let’s check this room first.” I reached for my ninjato, realizing I already had it in my hand. “That’s weird.” I thought out loud, “I don’t remember actually grabbing this while I was awake.” I shook it off as Chad approached. I switched the ninjato to my left hand as I pulled out the pistol. All while Chad was reaching for the door handle.

“Get ready,” He began counting down, “3… 2… 1.” He flung the door open and I immediately aimed my pistol inside. He winced, I presume from the scream that resonated with our very souls the moment the door opened. I felt temporarily stunned. Regaining my composure, I searched the room for the source of the scream.

“I-Is s-someone there?” I couldn’t quite identify the gender, or even age for that matter, of the voice, “Can you help me? I’m over here, tied to the wall.” Turning towards the direction of the voice, I saw nothing.

“I don’t see you, where-” I cut myself off, “This is a trap isn’t it?”

“W-why would you think that?” I still couldn’t identify the voice to any degree.

I took another step inside, before a pain in my stomach sent me flying, crashing me into the wall, “Holy fuck,” I choked out, “What was that?” Despite my lack of experience with getting punched, the blow felt familiar somehow. Looking up with distorted vision, I saw why, “T-Takeo?”

His voice sent a chill down my spine, “Sure, we can go with that I guess.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Eh, it’d be too much of a pain to bother.”

“Wait…” I thought back to how Takeo’s body was gone from the bunker when we left, “N-no, Maerod? You were there that night?”

“Oh, a fast thinker are you? But you’re only half right, I’m only a part—”

Chad punched him in the face, Takeo slid back a few feet, counter with a lunge punch Chad caught in his right hand. “Wow bro, you got some good muscles on ya. But you’re gonna need a few more to hurt this guy.” He used his spare hand to point a thumb at himself. Crushing Takeos hand with his right.

Jumping back, Takeo couldn’t hold it in, “What on Earth?” Not nearly in as much pain as it seemed like he should’ve been. “I realize I can only use so much power, but this body should still be nearly at its prior limit.”

“Look bro, you throw magic stuff at me, and I die pretty easily. But when you challenge me to a muscle competition,” He grinned, “You aren’t gonna win.”

Takeo began running around the room, Chad following suit, apparently not expecting Takeo’s incomprehensible speed, “Well shit bro, I can’t argue with that.” Finishing, he was knocked across the room into the wall, catching his breath for a moment. He got up seemingly uninjured, and the wall undamaged, “Look bro, you’re fast and all, but I don’t know if you’re gonna be able to kill me.”

“We’ll see about that.” Finally beginning to feel my nerve endings again, I realized I somehow kept hold of my weapons. Hiding the pistol under my leg, I waited for an opening.

The moment Takeo was no longer visible, Chad put up his arms which I only then noticed had bracers the same color as his chest piece. I saw the impacts Takeo made on the bracers. They were absorbing the blows incredibly, to the point that Chad showed little evidence he was even being hit. A few seconds later I saw Takeo again, “What is with you, it was my understanding that you were a threat level 8 at most.”

“Huh, I don’t know what any of that threat level crap is, but Genoskwa leather is pretty durable if I do say so myself.”

Takeo froze in his tracks, “Wh-what did you say?” I saw him begin to let his guard down, causing me to slide the gun out from under my leg. “G-Genoskwa leather? There’s no way you managed to acquire something so valuable.”

Chad kept him going, “Well I killed it with my bare hands a while back.” He chuckled to himself, “bear hands. Anyway, yeah bro, I like, killed one a while back while I was training and stuff.”

Takeo let his guard down almost entirely, “You must be level 14 minimum in that case. How could our calculations be this off-” I cut him off by firing a round at him. He dodged it and was on top of me in no time, “Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt someone while they’re talking?”

I stabbed the ninjato from my left hand into his stomach, “Ride or die bitch.” I followed up with two rounds to where a human heart would be.

“What, you think some silver… W-wait… the hell? It’s like my cells are melting.” He toppled to his side and I pulled my ninjato out of his stomach. Immediately after, he puffed into a cloud of smoke, quickly settling to the ground.

“Didn’t Tucker say it was supposed to be a slow and agonizing death?” I asked Chad.

“Bro, I don’t even know who you’re talking about.”

“Oh right, forgot about that, nevermind.” I checked the mag to see how much ammo I had left, “Ten rounds, let’s get going before anything else shows up.”