John's Lawn

“…cases continue to rise unexpectedly…” knock knock knock, “…cause has yet to be identified…” knock knock knock.

Slits of light clouded my vision as my eyes creaked open. Looking to my right I saw the clock, “5:28 a.m.” I dragged the remote off my nightstand, shutting off the tv across from my bed. The sound reverberated through my aching mind, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Setting the remote down, I reached for my phone. “Wait, it’s charging in the kitchen.” I thought to myself, hesitating for a moment before the knocking came again.

I got up, grabbed a robe from my closet, and headed to the door. As I tied the knot around my waist, I opened the door, revealing two people exuding the definition of “dapper.” A man and a woman, both dressed in fancy suits with their sleek black hair tied back. Both of them had red irises and filled the air with confidence and relaxation, “Isn’t it a bit early to be soliciting?” I asked, glancing down both sides of the street.

The man began with a chuckle, “Oh no, we’re not here to sell you anything.”

The woman continued his statement, “We are remnants, and we were instructed to give you this.” She handed me a business card, which I took reluctantly.

“So are you from a cult or something?” I was going to continue, but the man stopped me with a hand.

“No sir, we’re not with any religions. We are simply cogs designed to achieve a greater understanding of reality. We don’t expect you to call any time soon. However, the elders feel it is important for you to have this before the change begins. However, if you choose never to contact us, we understand.”

The woman smiled, “We hope you have a wonderful day.”  Both bowed to me, before heading down the street and off into the distance.

“Oooookay.” Shutting the door, I flicked the card to my left, it disappearing somewhere beyond the couch in the living room. Turning right, I made my way through the kitchen, grabbing my phone off the counter beside the stove.

A few notifications grabbed my attention, two emails from vaguely familiar addresses, alongside a message from someone named “Darren.”

“I know how you like drinking, so don’t forget, we need you in at 7:00, a.m.”

Then it hit me, I’d gotten a job at a local computer shop. I was still in training while they figured out how well I could program, but it was a full-time job.

I shook off a sort of deja vu feeling, before reheating some day-old coffee, “Was it only a day old?” I asked myself, “When did I make it?” Before I could fall further into my head, the microwave assaulted my eardrums, shaking me out of my train of thought.

Grabbing the mug, I took a sip from the lukewarm black coffee and smiled. “At least one thing feels familiar.” A few gulps later, a harsh beeping sounded from my room, disturbing the brief period of peace.

——————————

I sat on the couch about 30 minutes before I had to leave. “Hey Te—” I cut myself off, “What the hell was that?” My thoughts came out verbalized. I took it as my cue to get another cup of coffee.

Heating some, I poured it into a travel mug and decided to head to work a little early.

——————————

“Ayyyyye, how’s it goin’ Joseph?” a chipper man with glasses shouted to me over the sound of a computer-grade air compressor from behind the counter. There was a slight haze and mustiness to the room from the dust making its way out of the case in front of him. Computer parts lay strewn about on a towel beside him. 

I waited for him to shut the compressor off before sighing, “Oh, you know, still alive.” Making my way over to him, I set my mug on the counter, “What’ve we got going on today?”

“Some jackass was trying to modify his Linux without knowing what he was doing, so I’m gonna want you to show me if you can handle the repair. Aside from that, we just have some old work systems to clean up for some businesses around. Overheating issues and all, so mostly just blowing them out, replacing the thermal paste, you get the gist.” The balding man stood, revealing his lanky frame as he began putting each part back in its place on the motherboard.

“Alright, I get you. Did they say what they were trying to do with it when they fucked their system?”

“Nah, just said once they were done messing with some coding, the thing was just always at max processing output. I’ve got a good idea of what it might be, but I want you to figure it out.”

“Alright, I’ll take care of it if you don’t mind me starting a bit early.”

“Go for it.”

Turned out to be an infinite loop the guy accidentally added in, so the computer was just using all of its output to try and solve an unsolvable problem. It took me about thirty minutes to figure out and fix it because of how slow the thing was. After that, I joined Darren in cleaning out the computers we had.

It wasn’t long before a customer came in, an oddly familiar guy with a glowing crystal necklace, dark brown hair, almost unnaturally brown eyes, and a 5 o’clock shadow. He was holding a laptop under his right arm, and wore a similar expression of distant familiarity, before suddenly remembering why he was there.

“Hey, welcome to Dungeons and Computers, name’s Darren, how can I help you.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Approaching, he shook Darren’s hand, “Scott, I’m just looking to speed this thing up.” He said, gently placing the ancient laptop alongside its charger, “It’s a bit old, but I need all the stuff on it.”

Darren picked up the three-inch thick brick, “Are you sure you don’t just want us to transfer everything to a newer system? I’m not sure we can even order the parts to upgrade this thing, I mean, what’s it even running, 98?”

Scott rubbed the back of his head and glanced away, “Eheh, yeah, I’m just not sure if I have enough for something newer.”

“Well here’s what I can tell you, even if I find the parts to upgrade it, the difference will hardly be noticeable. Tell you what, how much were you planning on dropping on this thing?”

“200 bucks maybe?”

Darren scoff-laughed, “Look buddy, I got an old laptop in the back I don’t use anymore. Whaddya say I wipe it, transfer your data, and I’ll give you the laptop for that 200.”

Scott rubbed the back of his head again, “I mean sure… you uh… you won’t see anything I’m moving onto it will you?”

This set off some alarm bells for me. The way he said it hinted at something more incriminating than personal data.

“Not at all, it’ll just be moving straight from this dinosaur to the neanderthal I have in the back.”

Scott let out a small sigh and dropped his hand, “You mind if I hold onto the laptop still, it’s got some… sentimental value to it.”

“Sure thing man, come back by tomorrow, I’ll have the new one ready for you along with this dictionary underneath.”

The man’s face reddened, and he began fidgeting, “Can’t you do it today?”

“Buddy, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but the fact this thing is still running is a miracle considering I’ve never seen you around here. It’s gonna take a while for the data transfer, so unless you feel like spending the night here, I advise you go home and come back tomorrow.”

Scott sighed, “Okay, here’s the 200 then, please, just be careful.”

Darren’s face morphed, displaying utter assurance, “Believe me, I treat all computers with absolute care, you can bet on it.”

He sighed again, “Thank you, I’ll be back.”

As the doors closed behind Scott, I couldn’t help but run my mouth, “We’re checking his computer right? You saw how he was acting.”

“I pride myself in never looking into my clients’ personal lives, I advise you do the same. If you end up not coming across anything, then you’ve just violated your client’s privacy, how are they supposed to rely on you after that?”

Turning back to the computer I was working on, I gave him the side eye, “Okay…”

———————-

Arriving at home, I looked at the couch, about to say something, but I lost it like a sneeze, the idea of what I might say sitting there, just noticeable enough to annoy me. I tried to shake it off as I headed to my office, sitting down to work on a project for an online client. But I struggled to even start, throughout the day, I’d been almost doing certain things. Like that morning, I’d reached for my phone despite never leaving it beside my bed, stopping like I was going to think of something, and now the couch situation.

I sat there, staring at my screensaver, as if it held the secrets I craved to understand, “Did I always have the standard Windows 10 background?” I asked myself, “Don’t I normally go to the bar too?” The thought was fleeting, but I latched onto it, “I could really go for a cheap glass of whiskey.” The idea felt both comforting and disconcerting, but ultimately, I relented. Hell, it wasn’t like I was getting any work done. Shutting off my computer, I grabbed a jacket, and headed out the door, leaving on foot. 

A few flakes passed my face before I noticed the fog seeping out of my nose. I glanced up to see the gray clouds overhead, shivering at what could come. Despite the cold, I felt an odd warmth that seemed to seep into the rest of my body from my gut.

Shouting sounded in from the direction of the lone apartment complex. Looking around I found some people were already shambling back home from the bar. Reorienting myself, I finished my walk in mostly silent peace.

A dull hum of music and voices combined, forming a dark cloud over the building. Opening the door caused a couple of people to turn from the bar counter, both vaguely familiar people waved me over.

The man in a plain undershirt, flannel, and jeans spoke first. His baby face barely masked by his thick black beard, and seemingly bulletproof glasses, “Boss keep you late again?”

I sighed as I sat next to the guy with an especially tight black V-neck and cargo pants. I looked past his weathered appearance to babyface, “You could say that, how long have you guys been waiting around?”

V-neck replied, despite his seemingly hairless face, he had an astronomical amount of chest hair poking out, “Welp, construction ended early for me today. But Jared here just made his way in a few minutes before you. So I ain’t had a drinkin’ partner for the past few hours.”

“Damn, well sorry about that, I’ll try and get here sooner next time I guess.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it, work is work, can’t be helped.” He turned to Baby-face, “Hey you gonna cash in on that drink you still owe Joey here? Or are you wanting to lose another arm wrestling match?”

His lens’ seemed to grow at the suggestion, and he put his hands up defensively, “Hey now, I can’t afford something like that right now. I just paid my bills, you think I can aff–”

V neck smacked the table laughing before breaking into a coughing fit, “That’s fuckin priceless, every time.”

“Wait, do you owe me a drink? I don’t remember.”

“Hey, if he doesn’t remember, my debt is null, those are the rules.” Baby-face was beet red, pointing at me.

“Alright, I don’t care either way honestly.” A grin slipped across my face, “So how about that arm wrestling match then?”

The relatively short bartender appeared on the other side of the counter, “If he won’t I will.” He set his right elbow on the counter and gestured.

“Oh? What are the terms then?”

“Drink for a drink, winner’s choice. Even one of those $2,000 bottles on the top shelf. Half a glass, loser has to pay.”
I gave him a once over, “Alright, let’s go.” Extending my right arm, I gripped his hand. V-neck stood as our ref. As he verbalized “one.” I had the man’s hand pinned. “That wasn’t a very fair matchup, I’ll just go with my usual.” Saying that I paused, wondering what “My usual” even was. It turned out to be a mid-shelf brandy.

“Well now, how about one more match, my left is my dominant hand.” He asked, setting the glass down in front of me.

I took it like a shot, “You uhhh… sure about that?”

“Come on, my left is seriously stronger.”

He already had his elbow on the counter, so I entertained him. V-Neck again, counted down, “3… 2… 1!”

I plunged force into my left arm, but I didn’t make any progress. I looked at him as I exerted as much force as possible, he seemed to be doing the same. My bicep muscle bulged with every vein pointing out like a texture book. It was then that I realized the odd-looking scar down the center of it as if a chunk had been ripped out and reattached. I lost my focus, trying to remember how I’d gotten it when I suddenly felt a bludgeoning pain in my hand. Tuning back into my surroundings, I looked at the man who was already stepping up a ladder to grab one of the $2000 tequila bottles.

“That’ll be 150 please.” The white, coy-shaped bottle almost seemed to glow in the dim incandescent lighting.

I stared in confusion before I realized, I had put the money on the counter. I wanted to argue with him about how I lost focus, but I couldn’t help the nagging feeling that something was legitimately wrong with my arm.

“I don’t know why you let me off easy there kid, but you shouldn’t’ve.”

I mumbled something before heading to the exit, “Aye, Joey, you good?” Babyface and V-neck had turned me around, “If you needed that for rent or something, we don’t mind pitching you some money. You might even be able to ask him if you can pay la–”

“Nah, I just forgot, I need to… take care of some stuff… yeah.” I turned back around, “See you guys tomorrow.” They said some other stuff, but I was too focused on heading to the liquor store.

I got home an hour later, slumped on the couch, and drank cheap whiskey by the bottle. It took me two or so before I felt a buzz. I knew there was something wrong, I just didn’t want to. By bottle four, I finally felt drunk, and by five, I’d passed out on the couch.