John's Lawn

A shadowy figure sat beside me on a couch, controller in each of our hands. Warzone was playing on the screen. The person beside me and I were on the same squad, fighting multiple teams.

“Don’t peak, there’s a sniper.” We were both squating behind a wall, when gunfire erupted from behind us.

“Fuck it, I’m out of here.” My teammate stood, running for a nearby bus before getting domed.

“What the fuck were you doing?” I berated as I ran in the opposite direction, managing to get behind some cover.

He tossed his controller on the table in front of us, “I thought I could make it, get off my tits. Just get over and res me.”

“The fu–? You’re dead, you went the wrong way, don’t try and get me killed cause you fucked up.” I booked it out of the town we were in, before I also got shot in the head, causing “20th place” to appear on the screen.

“See? You died anyway. Might as well have tried to save me.”

“Yeah, oookay, like I knew that was gonna happen.”

The figure beside me got up before my eyes groggily opened, seeing Darren aggressively shaking me awake. “What’re you doing in the shop!?” I glanced around, noticing I was leaning up against a counter. I looked at the one window in the building, seeing it still open, before a blurred memory made its way back to me, along with a dull ache in the general right side area.

He snapped at me, and I noticed he’d been yelling, “I don’t give a SHIT how much you drink at home! But if I EVER find you passed out here AGAIN! Holy shit, you have no idea! I’d fire you if anyone else in this town understood computers! Go home, get all your shit bundled up, fold it, put it away, THEN come back!”

I stood, a bit ashamed of myself for losing control like that, “Sorry, I just–”

“I do NOT want to hear it! Now GO!”

I nodded, glancing over at Darren’s old laptop, noticing that there was no notification to signal the files had been transferred. I paused for a moment, turning to Darren, I couldn’t help but notice a pen in his flannel pocket, but seeing his face I turned back to head out the door.

————————————————-

In the shower, I did what I could to remember what happened. But no matter how many times I’d retraced my steps, my night always ended with me closing my eyes on the couch. I vowed right then and there to give up drinking, which is a promise I’d expected to keep.

As I got dressed to head back in, my phone rang out, grabbing my attention. One leg in my jeans, I held the other side up and grabbed my phone.

“Darren? What’s up?”

He sounded frustrated, “Don’t bother coming back in, I don’t have anything for you to do.” He hung up before I could respond.

I reconsidered my stance on alcohol. The thought of it made my mouth drool, “Just this last time, then I’ll give it up.” I told myself, sincerely believing it. I finished getting dressed, and headed out the door.

When I made it in, Baby-face and V-neck were sitting at the counter. I hesitated, before heading to them, “Isn’t it a bit early for you two to be here?”

They turned to me as I sat beside V-neck, who responded, “Shouldntcha be at work?”

“Eh, not enough work for me to help out.”

Baby-face joined, “What about your work from home stuff? What have you been working on lately?”

“Eh, online work’s been slow too. Don’t got anything better to do.” I turned to the bartender, “Cheapest glass of whiskey you got.”

“You sure?” V-neck raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have a smaller paycheck this time around.”

“No, I mean you sure you don’t got anythin’ waiting for ya at home?”

I stared ahead, “Yeah man, don’t worry bout me, I got shit under control.” A glass was dropped in front of me, “Thanks.”

The barkeep from the previous day glared down at me, “You oughtta keep yourself on a tighter leash.”

I glanced to all three of them, not one smiling, “Look guys, I’ve got everything under control. If you’re all that worried, I’ll keep it to this one glass.”

I looked around, their intimidating gazes making me uncomfortable, until suddenly, “BAHAHAHAHA!” They’d all burst out laughing, unable to hold their stirn looks any longer. V-neck was smacking the table, Baby-face had to take off his glaces to wipe down his eyes, and the bartender was squatting beneath the counter, holding onto it with both hands.

With a “Whooooo!” Baby-face chuckled out, “Jesus, why so serious?”

It took me a minute to process the situation. It would’ve been easier had I not had that damn ache in my right side, “Hardy har har, give me a fucking aneurism, assholes.” I forced the entire glass down, wiping a stray tear away as the heat plopped into my stomach.

The bartender pulled himself back up, “Come on, don’t be a bitch. We know you’d talk to

us if you really needed it. Just don’t up and dip like you did last night.”

“Yeah yeah, just pour me another fucking glass.”

V-neck patted me on the back, “You are fine though right?”

I looked him in his oak brown eyes, “Yeah man, it’s like he said, if I really need any help, I’ll come talk to you guys.” I couldn’t believe how much I’d lied to them, but I couldn’t shake the feeling I didn’t know these people as well as my brain seemed to want me to believe. We seemed close on the surface, and it felt like we were friends… ish, but no distinct memories of us all hanging out surfaced. Had I just been drinking too much?

I shook my head like an etch-a-sketch, “What about you guys, what’re you doing here? It’s morning.”

Baby-face leaned over the counter, looking over at me, “We got the day off.”

“And you have nothing better to do than hang out at the bar?” I chuckled, causing the ache in my side to turn into a vacuum like pressure, “Hey, barkeep, could you get me a couple burgers with a side of fries, I’m feelin’ the hanger coming on.”

“Sure thing.” He headed to the back.

“Are you really gonna just skip over that you kettle ass bitch?”

“Damn, someone needs to up their insult dictionary, that was just sad.”

V-neck jutted in, “Besides, how could he be a kettle? He’s paler than a sunbleached ghost.”

“Says the guy that’s so sunbleached he could be used for leather car interior.”

V-neck’s face dropped, “Aye shitbreath, I’d die before letting someone use my skin for car interior.” He couldn’t hold it, he smacked the table again.

I chuckled, trying not to over sell it, “You got me there man.” In that moment, I felt weird about the situation. Like the banter was forced somehow. The thought blindsided me so hard I didn’t realize I’d zoned out.

“Joey, you still with us ya lightweight?”

I looked at the three of them, trying to figure out who said it, “Yeah, sorry, just got lost in thought.” Then I looked down, seeing my food already sitting in front of me.

“Yeah,” The bartender said, “You seem to do that quite a lot these days.”

I chuckled, reaching the glass to my mouth, “What can I say, just got a lot on my mind I guess,” Nothing hit my mouth, glancing down, I realized there wasn’t any whiskey, “Can I get a refill?.”

—————————————————–

I got home that night, tipsy and dazed. As I pulled my shoes off, I shouted “I’m ho–” before catching myself and suddenly noticing a tiny package. Absent-mindedly, I threw it on the couch before my mind pulled a lever, and I was on a new railroad. What’s going on? Should I call the doctor? I sat down on the couch, Is my memory going?

I turned on the tv, opening up a sitcom about a small local government and the people who run it. The show brought me some much-needed distraction, but at the same time caused a sense of loneliness and longing. After a few episodes, I had to shut it off and put something else on. But no matter what I rewatched, there seemed to be a small piece of me trying to latch onto something no longer there. As if there were a chasm between ideas and concepts, only being able to faintly shout to one another.

I eventually just shut off the TV, intending to work on the project I needed to get done, hoping beyond hope that it’d distract me from the cavity inside. As I stood though, I heard a crinkle of paper. Looking where I’d been sitting, I noticed the package I’d thrown earlier.

I tore it open, hoping to get it out of the way so I could get to work, but when I examined the contents, I was confused at first, nothing but a business card with an italicized D in the center of it, which I flicked to the table. What laid underneath caused water to dress my eyebrows. I glanced around, wondering if I was being set up. I ran to the kitchen, opened my junk drawer, and threw the small bag of mushrooms inside, before slamming it shut and making my way to the office.

For hours, I sat there busting through each step of my project, the EDM around me preventing me from thinking about anything else. Once I was finally caught up, I turned the music down, rolled back in my chair, and stared at the ceiling. The dull ache from earlier coming back to haunt me.

My emotions finally reached the finish line, the faintest bit of water squeezing itself from my tear ducts. It sat there, glazed over my left eye for a minute, before finally pooling into a single point and rolling down my cheek.

“What the hell am I gonna do?” I leaned forward, letting out a hollow sigh. I stumbled to my feet, shambling to the bedroom. As I passed each painting on my walls, the urge to simply let the void take me grew stronger. Once I’d reached the painting beside my room, I gazed into it. It was Van Goghesque, the sulking figure remained in a chair in the corner, not even enough light in the room to give it any specific identifiers. Then I looked at the man sipping coffee at a computer, the bags under his eyes as dark as the black substance, and an ashtray sat beside him, overflowing. Then at another desk, a different man, seemingly shouting something while his feet sat on the desk, despite his jovial appearance, he looked malnourished.

Once I finally tore my eyes from it, I wondered when I’d gotten the painting. Then, I heard a creak from behind me, but just as I turned around, everything went black.

——————————————————–

There was a faint mustiness as if someone had left some vegetables out in a dusty wine cellar with a pool of rusty water. 

Despite looking around, I couldn’t see anything. I blinked a few times, realizing I was blindfolded. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, exhaling through my nose. I could feel my hands duct-taped together, my legs strapped tightly to whatever I was sitting on. “What’s going on?” I rolled my head.

“Well, shitbag’s awake, this is gonna be fun.”

“Look, you can let us go, we didn’t do shit, this is all a mi–”

“Both of you can shut up. You don’t GET to go back out there, not after what you’ve seen. If you’d just stayed off his laptop like I said, it wouldn’t have gotten to this point. I just would’ve had to take care of Scott here.”

I tried talking again, but before I could say much of anything, my overbit became an underbite and something hard rammed up my jaw, causing my teeth to chatter.

“Now, as fun as it’d be to sit here and talk about our hobbies and passions, I’d really rather not bother. Joseph, Scott, you two are gonna die. While it would be a pleasure to do it myself, I have to wait for the proper authorities to arrive and do it for me.”

I mouthed a statement to him and he backhanded me.

“Well?”

“Eat a whole dick Darren.”

“Wow, is that any way to treat your captor?”

The man beside me, Scott it seemed, began freaking out. “Y-you really don’t have to do this man. We’re just two guys.”

“Pull all you want, you ain’t getting my leg. I saw what you were trying to move over so there’s no need to be coy.”

Scott’s tone grew grim, “The demons you’ve brought to this world will only serve to haunt you once everything else is gone. I’ve known demons, I’ve fought demons, I’ve killed demons, you don’t know their strength. I am not asking, let, us, go.”

“Alright pastor Scott, I’ll get riiiiight on that. Let me just log that first and you’ll be out of here.” He paused, “I’m gonna make a sandwich, now don’t you two go anywhere.” The sound of shoes on wood made its way from behind me, and when all noise had finally ceased, only the sound of water slowly dripping into a bucket could be heard. With the mostly silence, my brain seemed to process more of my surroundings, a rusty smell coming from the everticking bucket about ten feet to my right, the abnormally humid air despite the cold, just the slightest decline in the floor, like the ground was uneven when laying the foundation. Focusing on my ears, I could hear footsteps above, the harder I focused the clearer they became. Soon enough, my ears began to ring and I brought myself back to the now.

“That was… weird.”

“What was?”

“Jesus! I forgot you were down here.”

“How could you have possibly forgotten that?”

“It’s, eh, you wouldn’t get it.” I sat in silence, trying to figure out how I could tell how far the bucket wa-

“Well, got any ideas?”

“Listen, Scott right? I am sure you want to get out of here just as bad as I do, but in order to think of a way out, I need to be able to think. So if you could, in the kindest way possible, please, just shut the fuck up for a few minutes.” I thought for a moment, “Wait, why aren’t you freaking out?”

“Why aren’t you?”

“Touche.” I could hear his breathing grow more rapid and sporadic, so I tried to ignore him.

If my arms are taped directly to the chair, there isn’t much opportunity to break them free, same for my legs. Is there any way that I can cut a sliver of the tape? The bucket? No, how the hell would I cut some tape with a bucket? In the middle of my thoughts, I felt the ache in my side begin to build again. As that cut me out of my thoughts, I could hear Scott seemingly hyperventilating, “Hey man, you good over there?”

He wheezed out his response between breaths, “Not, really.”

“HEY! ONE OF YOUR CAPTIVES ARE GONNA DIE DOWN HERE IF YOU DON’T BRING A BAG OR SOMETHING!”

The man must’ve stumbled down the stairs with the sound he made, “What the hell? Oh shit, god dammnit.” I’m not entirely sure what ensued, but eventually Scott’s breathing slowed, and I couldn’t hear it unless I focused.

“With all that shit talking you were doing before, I didn’t expect you to have a panic attack. You got DID or something? AHG YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” The narliest backhand I’d ever heard promptly ensued, and I felt something land in my lap. “I’ll be sure and let them know they can take their sweet time with you.” Darren stomped  back upstairs.

“What the hell was that about?”

Scott laughed, “Did you get it?”

“I mean, I got something.”

“It’s the pen he had in his shirt pocket. Got lucky he still had it.”

“Yeah, but the thing landed in my lap, how the hell is it gonna help?”

“Here, scoot over to me, try and get your thighs near my hand.”

I swung my body weight back and forth a few times, waiting. Hearing nothing, I continued.

“Pretty sure I fucked his nose up, so hurry up, no time to wait.”

I swung my body weight left, trying to lift up a bit with each push. I pushed and pushed until my knee bumped something.

“Hell yeah, just turn a bit more to your left, that was my knee. Now, where’s the pen?”

“Right around the middle of my thighs.”

“Can you try and push it to your knees?”

“With what? My dick?”

“I don’t know, flex, or lean forward, anything.”

“Oh, right.” Leaning forward in the chair, the pen slid, speeding up more and more, making it to my knees I caught it sticking straight up, “Holy fuck, that was a close one, can you feel it?”

“No, not quite, wiggle it around a bit, my hands are taped at the wrist.”

I did as he said, it slipped ever so slightly, “Hurry up, it’s making its way to my kneecaps.”

“Just keep wiggling it, I think it brushed my palm a second ago.”

“Like this?” And just like that, the pen was gone, “I uh, I think we might’ve just lost our one way out.”

“I didn’t hear it hit the ground, did you?” He chuckled.

“Hell Yeah!”

“Fuck get back over, get back over!”

I scooted for my life, hoping I was at least in a similar position to before. When I heard a clicking sound followed by rushed footsteps.

“What the hell is goin’ on down here!?”

“Whatever do you mean? I’m certain I don’t know what you’re insinuating.” I chuckled, which turned into pained grunting as the inflammation in my side grew evermore painful.

I dry heaved before the pain in my stomach made itself known, a hint of copper made its way onto my tonsils, and I couldn’t catch my breath, “Jesus, maybe you oughtta join the local children’s karate, I hear it’s half off for adults.”

Another fist made its way to my stomach, then my liver, and a kidney, “God damn bitch-ass.” I wheezed, coughing for air.

“If you two make any more noise, I’ll just kill you myself.” Just for good measure, he must’ve punched Scott in the stomach too.

A few minutes passed, and I whispered, “Alright, I think it’s showtime.”

I heard the pen click, and over the next minute, I heard him whisper curses to himself between the sounds of metal puncturing tape. Then, a quiet, tick tick tick as he slowly tore the tape from his wrist. After a few minutes, I could hear his light footsteps pacing around the room, until suddenly, he pulled the bandana down from my eyes, then he took a box cutter to each strip of tape holding me down.

“Jesus, it’s bright as hell down here.”

“What are you talking about? Is a single tungsten bulb really that bright?”

I looked around, it felt like the room had been lit with fluorescent strip bulbs. But sure enough, there was just a single incandescent bulb overhead.

“Eh, nevermind, let’s take care of this guy and head out.”

“No, we need to find my necklace too.” Scott was impatient.

“Is it really worth the trouble?”

“Yes, it’s worth more than you would understand. We’ll take care of him, then find my necklace.”

I glanced around, “Alright, fine.”

“Besides, I have some people you might wanna meet. I promise it’ll be worth your time.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m out of the job, so I’ve got all the time in the world right now. So when we make it out alive, sure, why not.” The pain took over completely, and I dropped to the ground.

“Keep it down, what’s wrong?”

Why not just eat him now? The thought caused drool to spill from my mouth, and I grinned. “My brain is going haywire, I-I think I’m going through kidney failure or something.” I writhed on the ground, mouth salivating at the idea of ripping each muscle fiber and tendon from his bones and sucking the marrow out of them like a Dairy Queen milkshake. I wanted to gag at the thought but I was too hungry, just so hungry. Every last cell in my body ached for something nutritious. “Slit his throat and bring him down, I’ll take care of the rest.”

“What the he–”
“DO IT! Jesus, please, I’d rather eat the captor than the captive holy fuck!”

“WHAT THE HELL DID I TE–”

I convulsed on the ground, gripping my aching side as if I were bleeding out. I couldn’t help the thoughts of having his eyes pop in my mouth like human boba. When a body dropped beside me, I didn’t think twice before going for his biceps. I’d eaten the man’s entire right arm before I processed what I was doing.

I stumbled back, pushing myself as far away from the body as possible, looking around to see Scott standing at the bottom of the stairs, horrified.

“You uh…” he took a few breaths, “You good?”

I looked myself over, I was covered in blood, some still dripping down my mouth. I licked my lips, the metallic taste gave me shivers.

“I was wondering what kind of thing you were, guess that mystery is solved… heh.”

“E-excuse me h-how is the m-mystery… solved?”

“I’m not quite sure how, but I think you’re part vampire. Your side hurting, sudden craving for human meat. I mean, in the day of vitamin pills, you could’ve avoided that, but no one in this town is really told anything I guess, so it’s not really your fault. Go shower up, I’m gonna find my necklace.”

I sat there, staring at Darren’s body, neck open like a pez dispenser.

“Look, I get you’re in shock right now, I’m pretty surprised here myself. But we just committed murder and cannibalism, sort of, we need to leave soon.

I stumbled to my feet, appearing in the bathroom after some time. Then I was in front of the door, fresh clothes on and a garbage bag in my hand.

“Sure you don’t wanna take his other arm for the road? Eheh.”

It was tempting, which made me want to puke, but my stomach refused, “Where aare we going?”

“Yeah, just stick with me. It’s toward the back end of town where the wall is.”

As soon as I reached for the door, I slammed into the wall, the brass handle stabbing my liver. “GET ON THE GROUND!” There were two men, both pointing rifles at Scott. He put his hands on the back of his head, kneeling in front of the men as the door slowly pushed away from me. Looking down, the small hole in my side from the lever on the handle was already clotted. I saw in real time as it went from a loose clot to a full scab. Despite my shock, I dropped the bag I was holding, kneeing the guy to my right in his tailbone, I felt a crack and he dropped to the ground screaming. I kicked the door shut and went to tackle the second guy but he whipped around, hitting me in the side of the head with his stock.

It was ten seconds later and I was barely holding myself up, Scott was pinned under the second guy as he handcuffed him, the first man was still in agony on the ground. Before he could get the second cuff around Scott’s wrist, I lunged at him, throwing him off of Scott. Out of reach of his gun, he wrapped his legs around my torso, punching me in each side of my head repeatedly. I jabbed his sides, trying to knee my way out of his chain-like hold, but I’d never been in a fight before. He coiled around me like a snake and I felt his arm wrap around my throat so hard my adam’s apple cracked. I choked, pixels of my vision flashing white.

THUD, he loosened, and I managed to slip out and wrap my leg around his neck, his immediately lit up bright red as he struggled, an oozing dent in his head from where Scott had bashed him with a fire extinguisher. I held it until the man stopped moving, “Take care of piddles over there, I’ll take care of this guy.” I couldn’t help but laugh when I looked over to see the stunned man had actually pissed himself.

I proceeded to ensure the guy I sedated wouldn’t be… “coming to,” again.

Once we’d taken care of our… mess, we took their keys and their guns and headed out.

When I finally sat down in the car, and my adrenaline began to die down, I entered a state colloquially known as, “subdued panic.” Essentially, I was having a mental breakdown in the passenger seat as Scott made our way to the location at 50 in a residential area.

Why was I having fun? What the hell is going on? We just killed three people. I ate a MAN. I’m a vampire? What’s going to happen to us? How are we going to avoid getting arrested? Why did we bring the guns? Our DNA is all over. Why is Scott so calm? We’re going to be arrested. Why did we steal their car?

“You oka–”

“DO I LOOK FUCKING OKAY!? I just ate human meat, killed a guy, stole their guns and car, and now we’re driving to who the FUCK knows where!? The ONLY thing that could make this day ANY better would be if we committed triple homicide! OH WAIT, that’s not a FUCKING issue is it!?” Tears streamed down my face as I forced my hands through my hair, ripping some of it out.

He sat in silence.

“And why the hell are you so calm? How often do you do this?” I whimpered out as my heart rate soothed.

“I mean, not this exact scenario, but every so often, shit hits the fan you know. As you just experienced. So I take it you haven’t regained your memories.”

“My what?” Tears continued on down my face.

“Well you see, you didn’t actually move here after a divorce. You just got to town recently but well… you’ll figure it out with time I’m sure, I guarantee you won’t want to hear it from me.”

I shook my head, “And this place you’re taking me?”

“Well, they’re some people who also know about the conspiracy going on in this town. You’ll see, you might even know someone there. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I think I may have wrapped you up in my business when I came by to transfer the data on my laptop.”

I chuckled, sniffing, “You’re a dumbass, you have private data on your computer allegedly revealing a grand conspiracy, and you take it to a computer shop.”

“Our sources showed Darren wasn’t aligned with anyone. That being said, I think there are more organizations in this town than the state government. I’m starting to think we’re underprepared for what’s going on here. Unfortunately, the number of people who regain memory is minuscule and random, and the number of people born here is even smaller.” He pulled to a stop, and I looked up, seeing a concrete wall with barbed wire fencing at the top.

“Let’s head in, there’s a lot more we need to update you on, assuming you’re with us.” He looked at me, holding out his hand.